Love is like a door knob that I’ve mistaken for a shower handle, and I’m trying to turn up the heat on our relationship, but the handle won’t turn and I’ve got shampoo in my eyes and my wetsuit is dry and I started crying just as the zookeeper asked me to leave.

“Getting struck by lightning is like winning the lottery, only it’ll ruin your l…”

“I’d collaborate with my clones, because I’m a team player who wants all the cre…”

“If I converted an old bubble gum machine into a Love Dispenser, and charged a q…”

“I spend all my time trying to capture the moment. And when I do, I'll interroga…”