Love is like a rolling rock—with wheels. And legs, too! But no breaks or shoes or anal lubrication.

“A brick could be used to stop time. I did it once at my uncle’s house, and I ne…”

“The idea of a blind date scares me. But a deaf date would be great.”

“There are two apples, one is green and the other is red. Which apple would the …”

“I could be the best lover you’ll ever have. Maybe not the best in bed, but I co…”