Love is like a zebra refereeing a football game. I should know, because I am the rodeo cowboy riding that zebra.

“I’m a patriotic pilot. I know how to fly a flag. Of course I don’t fly anything…”

“Two become one when two are in love—or when the waitress asks about our dinner …”

“I believe that guns offer the most bang for the buck.”

“A brick and a blanket represent two lovers who can never be together. I simply …”