Love is tender, like the pot roast I’m keeping warm in my shoes.

“I told the waitress I wanted some coffee. She asked if I wanted leaded of unlea…”

“How big is my penis? Big enough to touch my hands.”

“I’m sure you could win with a design that I’d cast off as trash. Such is the cu…”

“When someone I admire turns out to be a rather normal guy, I get offended becau…”