Love is the most precious gift you could ever possibly hope to steal. Some women foolishly do not leave their rib cages locked at night.

“I just started seeing someone, which is a relief, because the last girl I dated…”

“If I were a paper pusher for a living, I’d be pissed if my coworkers moved my d…”

“A blanket could be used to wrap up a case.
”

“Don’t be jealous if I spend 50% of my time with you, and 50% of my time with ot…”