Love is to beer as I am to drunk. And you say I’m not romantic. Shoot, I’m so romantic I could just puke.

“A brick could be used as a middle name. But who’d be dumb enough to do that, wh…”

“A brick can be used as a nickname for people who are slow, both physically and …”

“I just made ice cream. Accidentally. I made regular cream, and then winter kick…”

“I like to meet people and pretend I’ll never see them again. I tend to value th…”