Love isn’t the last thing on my mind. The last thing on my mind is my skull.

“I once got 7th place in a swim meet. Being top 8 is an accomplishment, especial…”

“Her shoes were so pink that if she stepped in bubblegum, nobody would be able t…”

“I don't know where to look for jobs, so I think I'll check out the unemployment…”

“I am the melted cheese of desire. Please, feel free to double dip.”