Loyalty is for the dogs. Count me among the cats. And count me twice—once for each of my faces.

“When there’s no more food, only the anorexics will be amped up. And I’ll be the…”

“My love is made out of three things: the dawn, the sunrise, and redundancy. I p…”

“Things to do in an elevator: Install a glass display, like in a museum, over th…”

“I don’t belong to a political party, because I don’t feel invited.”