Masturbation, like writing, is best when your mind is working faster than your hand.

“Fornication: Do it for the kids. Just not at their birthday parties.”

“I thought I was placing my hand on her knee. But it turned out to be her saggy …”

“A writer should be a recluse. Why share words with a few friends in the moment …”

“I think all toys should be invisible. Not only would they improve children’s im…”