May you fall on a fork and get eaten by a cannibal.

“I once saw the world’s ugliest baby drown. But then I realized, “That’s not a b…”

“I’ve got a piece of the American Dream. I don’t have a house, but I do have a n…”

“A brick and a blanket walk into a bar. And I don’t drink, so I wasn’t around to…”

“I’m not rich in paper money, I’m rich in packets of sugar. Actually, I’m richer…”