Mustaches are not only fashion statements, but they’re useful for tickling vaginas.

“My workout partner is a cat. We nap together. He spots me a place, and keeps it…”

“The window of life is mirrored. And tinted. And shattered. And borrowed.”

“Your mother, my mother, and mother of pearl walk into a bar, and the bartender …”

“I have a protective coating, like a tank. It’s called Love. And when I get you …”