Mustaches are so cool that I not only have one—I have two. I wear both of mine above my eyes.

“A blanket could be used to make magical music. And no, I’m not talking about se…”

“My dream as a boy was to write a coloring book, but the nagging problem was alw…”

“My advice is don’t take advice from anybody. This is good advice, and as such, …”

“I’ll give you a treat to get in your cage. I’m rewarding you for punishing you.…”