My advice is to write during commercial breaks, and read while your favorite TV show is on mute.

“I’d love to create a personal profile on a dating site with a headline that rea…”

“I want to meet a woman named Sherry who only drinks brandy, and a woman named B…”

“Bury the truth, along with the bodies of the disbelievers.”

“I’d rather be snorkeling in the sea of love. But instead I’m stuck here, in a f…”