My advice to men is this: Don’t rape a Pringles can, because empty does not mean void of no.

“A spanking with a tree branch, now that’s slapstick.”

“The term “global audience” is misleading and meaningless, but I’m proud to say …”

“I got your love out of the umbrella cabinet. I hope you weren’t saving it for a…”

“I’ll give you money to buy what I’m selling, because I’m a savvy salesman.”