My asshole is supportive of me. No matter what, good or bad, it’s always right there behind me.

“I want to write a chicken story, starting from scratch, and my handwriting is c…”

“They say there are 7 billion people on earth. I don't know what accountant came…”

“I put the hop in IHOP, and jumped on my pan of pancakes and then on to Panama. …”

“I dance like I have a chip on my shoulder. I dance salsa.”