My asshole smells like a bookstore. So, are you a big reader?

“-I have this friend—you don’t know him—but—
-Is his name Molloway?
-No.
-Oh. I …”

“If you asked me if I’d rather make love to you, or have my balls cut out with t…”

“I lost a little weight over the weekend. I cut my fingernails.”

“I’m so old school I’m like a one-room schoolhouse—with no bathroom. I always ke…”