My bed’s comforter is yellow. It has to be to hide all the melted butter stains. I make love like microwave popcorn—only in half the time!

“A brick could be used to raise my spirits. I’m feeling low right now, low by ab…”

“People who are wealthy and good looking don’t know the joy of working to conque…”

“A brick could be used as a pettable non-furry and non-meowing cat.
”

“My name is a half an hour early, but my body is on time.”