My brakes sound like my horn, and my car’s bumper is bumpy enough to be brail. My ideal reader would be a speed-reading blind politician I didn’t vote for.

“A crime scene is a silent witness that speaks louder and clearer than any human…”

“You've got to get up pretty early in the morning to beat me to my rooster costu…”

“Love walked in the door like a dusty cowboy, and I looked that cowboy dead in h…”

“He’s a monk, the fifth of his kind. I call him Monk E, and he is a primate.”