My cat’s name is Mr. Dog, and My penis’ name is Mr. Beaver. Ah, but that’s life, no?

“I’m glad scrambled eggs don’t have lips, because when I’m grinning over a heart…”

“A great way to steal other people’s stuff is to build a vault and have them vol…”

“Life is made up of now, and the past and the future are nothing more than inedi…”

“I’m not good at talking. Can’t I just nod my way through a conversation? It’s b…”