My ex girlfriend, she gave great log cabin. But she couldn’t write a speech like Lincoln. So I grew a beard and broke up with her.

“Love is snowy, like the raincloud I left in the freezer. I would ski on the slo…”

“I like to switch things up by keeping things the same. People never expect it.”

“Amy, she’s got a memory like an elephant, and a body like a meow.”

“If you replace the letter "s" with the letter "x," you can make a lot of plural…”