My father went AWOL the day I got dishonorably discharged from his penis.


“I can’t sell sex for money, but what if I change sex’s name to food? Then can I…”

“When I’m feeling down, I make myself a big bowl of Up Soup. The bowl only looks…”

“If you have to dig to find yourself, you are probably dead.”

“The dolphin is a mammal, but it can’t walk. However, it can hitchhike.”