My friends mess around with my friends—and my friends’ bikes. Sex with bicycles—that kind of love is just too fast for me. I’ll stick to sticking it in statues.

“As a way for both of us to make money, I’ll hold you hostage, while at the same…”

“I don’t like it when I have guests over and my girlfriend doesn’t wear pants an…”

“If I had a clone, he’d better be my equal, and not my better. Can you imagine h…”

“Nobody is mysteriously mysterious. To be mysterious all it takes is hard work, …”