My girlfriend has two aliases. Clones aside, it’s the only time I’ve ever felt like I was cheating on one person with the same person. 


“Schrödinger’s cat was a Siamese cat, must have been, because if it’s at once al…”

“The early morning is too strong to drink straight, so I need to mix in a little…”

“Employment: I’ll trade my time and labor for your money. So time is not money, …”

“I don’t like chili, unless I’m wearing a jacket.”