My girlfriend Likes Sex and the City. Trouble is, I live in the country.

“If my last name were Drinkfood, I’d pour you a hot cup of spaghetti. And if my …”

“I had an out-of-body experience so strange that it felt normal. You see, my sou…”

“Your fork is my shovel. I eat real estate and I drink coffee.”

“I like to switch things up by keeping things the same. People never expect it.”