My grandma came over yesterday, and I had just jumped out of the shower, so I answered the door in my towel. I know it was a little indecent, but I didn’t have time to dry off and change out of my wetsuit.

“A blanket could be used to spread the love around. Tuck it in at the edges, so …”

“A brick could be divided into four equal pieces and split among three friends. …”

“Dear cat, your ears are flipped inside out, so I know you’re not listening to a…”

“I make love like a lump of cold oatmeal. I apologize if that mental image excit…”