My grandpa doesn’t even have a grand to his name.

“You don’t need the Bible to tell you the flesh is weak. Just pinch it and find …”

“I'm the Chuck Norris of Chuck Norris quotes, and I make love like Chuck Norris,…”

“My favorite color is brown, as in Andrew Benson Brown.”

“I steal cracker packets. I hoard them. Once my collection is large enough, I’ll…”