My job is so boring I’m thinking of boring a second hole into my penis.

“I’m 32 years old and I’m tired. It’s because I haven’t drank enough coffee. If …”

“I feel like having another thigh and calf would give me a leg up on my competit…”

“I still remember my middle school locker combination. Maybe I should go back to…”

“Love is like a door knob that I’ve mistaken for a shower handle, and I’m trying…”