My love is a flower shaped like a snowflake. It won’t melt, so perhaps ice cream should be made out of it.

“Would women find vampires even sexier and more romantic if instead of fangs the…”

“The best part about love is it’ll still be around long after I’m dead. That’s a…”

“I read trash. Empty cereal boxes, empty shampoo bottles, the bottoms of empty K…”

“I just bought some long-lasting deodorant. You know, for the afterlife. Eternit…”