My name is Al, but it’s not Al Falfa. You can’t eat me, damnit. At least not legally.

“A brick could be used like ice cream. But hold up, hold up. Let me put a bowl u…”

“4 am—if I’m ever up that early, it’s because I’m up that late.”

“My hair isn’t turning gray, but it is losing its flavor. It used to taste like …”

“My face and body are not my essence. My actions, ideas, and ideals are the stuf…”