My name is Mr. Murderedscott. But if you want to know what happened to Scott, I didn’t kill him.

“Most people like winners, but I prefer underdogs. They’re more fun to pet.”

“How many birthdays can you fit in a shoebox? I guess that depends both on how o…”

“I’m so OCD that I sort the sort ofs out from the maybes.”

“I am the washing machine of love. And if you have no idea what I mean, maybe it…”