My penis isn’t big. It just appeared that way because the midget’s hands were so small.

“To stop a battle, a politician would propose a war.”

“Everybody has something to offer the world. Even rapists, murderers, and politi…”

“I’m up for the Julius Caesar Author of the Year Award this year. I’m tremendous…”

“I’m 30% in love, and if I ever rise to 70%, then I’ll be 100% in love. But I’ll…”