My penis, when inflated, does not qualify as a flotation device, no matter how much it tastes like the navy.

“North, south, east, west, I need to find a nude erection to point the way.”

“The site of her warmed my heart, like a mitten over my penis. 
Can you please p…”

“A brick could be used to cut things. The duller the object, the sharper the use…”

“Love is like a corn-dog popsicle, and I’m on the Most Wanted list. Unfortunatel…”