My phone died, so I cremated it along with my grandpa. Well, he was taking up too much room in my freezer.

“I saw an old guy sleeping, and I thought he was dead. But I kept checking his p…”

“Abstain from reading comedy or other government economic statistics.”

“I didn’t set out to discover Truth. I was simply hungry and digging deep in the…”

“He seemed to swallow the lie I fed him. I hope he’s not still hungry. If he is,…”