My rule of thumb for hitchhiking is: stick it up straight and proud and make if visible to all drivers.

“Is your bed big enough? Because if it is, I can always join you and crowd it up…”

“I wear my shirts backwards and inside out. It helps give my genitals more breat…”

“I’m trying to cover all my bases so I can be a complete baseball nonplayer. I’v…”

“To show the football coach I was ready to play tight end, I wore no pants and h…”