My teeth are filthy, so to impress my dentist I compensate by wearing too much cologne.

“A brick could be used as 1,2, and 4. But not 3. No, 3 is too holy for a brick. …”

“I was nine minutes late for my last birthday party. And I was nine months on ti…”

“I wouldn’t want the guests at my birthday party confusing my celebration with t…”

“I want to be a standup economist, because isn’t money funny? Actually, without …”