My thoughts absorb sound like sponges soak up water. Please don’t whistle while I masturbate.

“I respect a man not for the clothes he wears, but for the clothes he doesn’t we…”

“Would a suit of armor make women feel as invincible as a sexy pair of shoes?”

“I’m more terrified of failure than rejection—so I’ll no my way to YES!”

“I stand to inherit a lot from my father, including high cholesterol and diabete…”