My uncle's a big drinker. In fact, he just got a liver transplant. They replaced it with a bottle of whiskey.

“I’d like to tweeze all the Tuesdays of the year, and all the Mondays off my che…”

“Man is somewhere in between God and animal. Jarod is somewhere in between Jar a…”

“If it’s not one thing, it’s another. The other thing is, of course, two. That m…”

“A half-truth is 90% of the story. The other 10% is tithed to God.”