Nine out of ten Jarod Kintzes agree that there is only one Jarod Kintz.

“I need a bone saw—for the meatloaf I made for you, which looks suspiciously lik…”

“He was a man I came to respect. Not because he wore Ziploc bags for socks (he h…”

“No, lady, you didn’t have sex with me, you had sex with my clone. I’m sorry, bu…”

“What do you call a schooner in a wine glass? Port.”