No matter how bad things get, just keep looking up. Just keep looking up her skirt. Or his kilt.

“I’ve shortened this sentence’s length, in order to reduce the need for it. I’ve…”

“To let her imagine how great a lover I’d be, I ate soup with chopsticks. She we…”

“I wear a mustache, both as a disguise—and as a cooter tickler.”

“Webster’s—the original high definition entertainment.”