Not only am I thinking about getting a nose job, but I’m also trying to get employment for the rest of my face.

“I wonder if the singer named Seal got his name by using his cheeks as chumming …”

“An invisible wall of super condensed jelly would make a great shield to stop bu…”

“Are you happy here with me? Because if not, we can scoot over a few feet.”

“I made love to a woman who didn’t exist, and I can’t remember how it didn’t fee…”