Not only did I not win the sweepstakes, but I didn’t even bother to enter. I feel discriminated against.

“Please, come in. Let me open the air conditioning vent so you can squeeze throu…”

“Sleep: to see and do, and do nothing.”

“-You don’t want to come out and celebrate with me tonight? What’s more importan…”

“I said if I get her pregnant, I’d get to name our kid. She asked what I’d call …”