Obese people have really begun to eat up a lot of my free time. That’s the skinny on my life.

“When I smell small, my nose gets clogged up. Think what would happen if I whiff…”

“A blanket could be used to settle disputes. Hold my penis while I demonstrate h…”

“I once saw the world’s ugliest baby drown. But then I realized, “That’s not a b…”

“The birds fly south for the winter not because it’s cold, but because they have…”