On a clear day I can see NYC. I just have to turn on the TV.

“I make conversation like I make love to myself—I let my hands do all the talkin…”

“I enjoy the small things in life. Like my penis.”

“In the interview I was told that I’d be replacing Robert, who was a robot. The …”

“Feeling depressed? Lift your chin up, pull your shoulders back, raise your arms…”