On our first date, you should wear a maternity dress, because I’m going to try to impregnate you.

“I’m the Robert the Bruce of Bruces. I’m also the Robert the Bruce of Roberts. 
”

“Love means the world to me. But so does a globe.
”

“An octopus has eight legs. You know what else has eight legs? My bed last night…”

“There are so many cheeses that I can't keep track of all their names. The dairy…”