One of my main regrets in life is giving considerable thought to inconsiderate people.

“I decided to eat my legal counsel, because at 200 bucks an hour it was either t…”

“When you’re as ugly as I am, you need all the beauty sleep you can get. I’ll be…”

“Give me 10 pins and a hardwood lane, and I’ll bowl. Just as long as that bowl i…”

“I have failed, and I should bury my failure. I need a trowel (it was a small fa…”