Pele popularized the bicycle kick, and I created the unicycle kick. It’s like the bicycle kick, only it requires more balance and one less wheel.

“Some men might buy their wives stoves for their birthdays. But I’m not that sex…”

“I’m the sort of businessman who goes in to buy a lime, and comes out with a lem…”

“I’d rather coin a few words than coin a few quarters, nickels, or dimes.”

“I would never date Austin. Not that it’s gay, but it’s simply too densely popul…”