Pet my 3:33 pm like it’s a beard. Live it, but don’t lick it.

“A blanket could be used to show love, by providing warmth, comfort, and an itch…”

“If I run for office, my political platform will be made of wood, and it’ll be m…”

“If I had to believe, I would. But I don’t, and I do.”

“While I’m no Major League Baseball prospect, I have thrown a few no-hitters in …”