Please don’t step on my penis. And pick it up off the floor if you see it’s fallen out of my pocket.

“I have thin lips, like two rose petals on top of each other, and I would say I …”

“Masturbation, like writing, is best when your mind is working faster than your …”

“A blanket could be used to keep me single. Not that I need any help from anybod…”

“I started writing to get women, or rather a particular woman, and I continue wr…”