Receiving trophies is all about getting recognized. Wearing big sunglasses and a fake mustache is about not being recognized. Why not wearable trophies, so you can be recognizably unrecognizable?

“Love is a bag of electric eels sleeping in a lagoon full of goons and legumes. …”

“I had a dream where I drank my own grandma. What she was doing disguised as a b…”

“I wasn’t dead, I was asleep. There’s a difference, however slight. That subtle …”

“In high school I attended a magnet school—for refrigerators.”