Reread that Bronte book all you want, but Jane Eyre's never going to get gender-reassignment surgery or train to become a kick-ass ninja assassin.

“In light this bright, after so long in the dark, everything we can see is only …”

“My mom would spy by satellite, turning down the air conditioning, colder and co…”

“trichloroethane [...] All my extensive testing has shown this to be the best tr…”

“Oh love me, love me, love me, love me, love me, love me, love me, love me. I'll…”